Tuesday, April 18, 2017

How Do You Know When You're in Love? Check These 12 Signs

The feeling of falling and being in love is one of the greatest feelings one could ever feel and experience.
You feel motivated, driven, and secure having someone in your corner to support and comfort you.
However, some of us may become confused when trying to figure out what it is that we are feeling exactly–Do I just like them a lot, or is this love?
According to science, your brain will be able to figure it out before you’re able to realize it.
Arthur Aron, a psychologist at State University of New York at Stony Brook says, “Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs.”
Here are 12 signs that will let you know if you really are, in love.

1. You want your family and friends to be accepting of them

When you start seeing someone you really like, you’re going to want to bring them around your parents and close friends. Your social circle typically plays an important role in the success of a relationship. Of course, the opinion of friends and family probably won’t decide whether or not you continuing seeing them, it’s nice to know that they like and accept the person you’re spending your time with.

2. You’re happy when they’re happy and sad when they’re sad

You start to almost feel exactly how they are feeling whether it’s up or down. the person you like gets a promotion and they’re overjoyed when they tell you about it. You’re able to share his/her success and experience feelings of pride and positive emotions. Seeing them so happy just makes you melt inside.

3. You want to see them every SINGLE moment

It’s almost like one day away from them feels like a week. When they say goodbye to you after dinner, you’re already thinking about the next time you can see them which is hopefully soon after. The second they leave for home, you’re already texting them to continue the topic you haven’t finished over dinner.

4. You want to know everything about them

You become so intrigued you can’t help but have a laundry list of questions for them. You want to get to know them under the surface. They may be a little emotionally guarded and have difficulty talking about their feelings, so you find yourself wanting to know why they are that way. As you learn more about the person you like and make them feel safe, you open the doors wide open to connect and bond on a much deeper level.

5. You don’t feel so great when they get close with someone else

Seeing the person you like being friendly with someone of the opposite sex will have you feeling pretty uneasy. Over time you’ve become pretty close to them, and you don’t want to see them or someone else sending out flirtatious vibes. The little jealousy tells a lot. It means you don’t want to be just friends with the person.

6. What they do or say is special to you

Things that they say or do may seem insignificant to others, but they’re very significant to you. What they see as an imperfections, you see as unique qualities that you love about them.

7. You’re willing to do anything for them

The list of things you aren’t willing to do for the person may not even exist. You never think twice about doing anything for them to put a smile on their face. They may be craving their favorite food for lunch so you use yours to surprise them at work.

8. You’re more careful about what you say and do

You learn to be a little bit more sensitive around the person you like. You’re much more careful about what you say and do. You begin to understand that every action has a reaction. You think twice before talking because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them angry.

9. Your behavior is a bit out of control when you’re with them

A friend may tell a joke and you may be mildly humored by it. But if the person you like tells the same joke, you can’t help but laugh a little harder. Your emotions are magnified. They make you feel good, and it sometimes comes out uncontrollably in your actions.

10. Your confidence level is boosted

They make you feel like you’re on top of the world and vice versa. You go into work feeling like you can accomplish every task thrown your way. They make you feel great about yourself. If your friends and co-workers have been saying you’re glowing lately, he/she is probably the reason why.

11. You can see a future with them

You’ll start to envision what your life would be like with them in the future. Dare I mention the thoughts that go through your head when he/she picks up a baby.

12. You have more drive to become a better you

You have always felt pretty secure and happy with yourself and all that you’ve accomplished. But somewhere along the way this person unknowingly sparked something inside of you to push and strive for more. For months you’ve been putting off getting into the gym and eating healthier, but now doing that doesn’t seem like such a chore anymore. You aspire to be better everyday, and they’re the inspiration behind it.
You definitely know when you start liking someone. The tricky part is knowing when you’re in love with them. All in all, you know he/she is the one for you when they challenge you to be a better person every day, and you can’t imagine your life without them.

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Joseph Montes

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Article by: Erica Wagner

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Dating Tips For Men

Dating has always been and will continue to be a complicated process. Where should you go for your date? What should you wear? Who should pay for the date? These are all good questions but can be very confusing.

First Impressions Are Extremely Important:

Women expect you to look your best when taking her out on the town. Being well groomed, clean and donning clean clothes will give a great first impression from the start. You might consider your worn-out old jeans lucky, but your date might feel the same way.

You Should Choose The Location:

You need to pick a place where you will both be comfortable. Letting her make the decision could backfire. Women like to think their date is able to take charge and they enjoy being surprised. Picking a place that is familiar and comfortable for both of you will make the date much more pleasant. Preferably choose a place that is relatively low-keyed, don’t pick a popular, loud nightclub. The idea is to get to know each other.

Show Self Confidence:

Confidence is a very appealing aspect to women but steer clear of being cocky! Strutting your stuff is not a sign of confidence it’s actually a sign of insecurity! Pick a subject that interests you and your are enthusiastic about. If you talk about something that you are passionate about, it will show and she’ll respect that. Just because you are not an Adonis, doesn’t mean you are not comfortable in your own skin. Women are attracted to men who feel good about themselves and show it.

Don’t Hog Up The Entire Conversation:

Sometimes it just happens that you keep right on talking because you are nervous. If this starts to happen, check it and take a deep breath. You don’t have to cover your entire life in a first date, let her get a word in edge-wise. If you just hog up the entire conversation you are going to bore her to tears. Ask her some questions to bring her into the conversation and then listen to what she has to say.

Keep The Conversation Light:

The last thing you want to do is get into a heavy conversation. Stay away from negative areas such as someone you dislike or an issue you are dragging around. Women love to laugh, so keep keep it light. You can always have heavier conversations later on.

Do Not Bring Up Your Ex:

The subject of an “Ex” should never be brought up on a first date. You will place your date in a very uncomfortable situation and your evening will probably not go over very well. Should your date bring up the subject, offer a short answer and let her know that your past is exactly that – the past. Swing the conversation back to getting to know her.

Turn Your Phone Off!

There is nothing more irritating then listening to someone’s phone going off every 5 minutes. Phones are very distracting and could easily leave your date believing your calls are more important than this date. Turning your phone off will show her you want to focus entirely on her and that will be a very positive sign.

Pay The Bill:

Let your date know that you want to treat her, it’ll make you look like a true gentleman. If she insists on paying, offer to let her pay on the next date but this one is on you!

Follow-up After The Date:

You should contact her within a few days after the initial date. If you don’t, she’s probably going to believe you are not interested. Let her know in a short period of time that you had a great time. If the date did not go well, don’t tell her you will call her! Simply let her know you had a nice evening and leave it at that.

Get Advise From Female Friends:

If you are uncomfortable about a first date, talk to a female friend to get some pointers. You cannot learn dating from a text book but a good friend might be able to help you out. Tell her about your last date, where you went, what you did and what you talked about. Hopefully, she will be able to give you some helpful tips to improve your next dating experience.

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Thursday, March 30, 2017

Start Spreading the Optimism: Simple Tips

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston Churchill
It can turn a situation that looks negative or bleak into an opportunity or something to learn from.
It can replace the draining thoughts of pessimism with something that will give you more energy and enthusiasm again.
And it can help you to jump over obstacles, to keep moving when you fall or stumble and to not give up just because you have had a couple of temporary setbacks.
So not just adding more of it to your own life but to the lives of the people in your world too is good idea.
Because you tend to get back what you give in the long run. And in the short run, well, you get to enjoy the smiles when you spread the optimism.
And you’ll boost your own self-esteem when you feel you are doing the right thing.
Here are some simple tips that can help you to get started with that.
1. Just be there for someone.
Listen and lend the optimistic and grounded perspective to someone in your life in need of it.
At first I find it best to just the let other person vent, to let him or her get issue at hand out into the light. So I am just there fully and listening.
Oftentimes this might be enough. Because just being there will help him or her to let the emotional tension out and to analyze the issue and to find a solution or to let it go.
If she or he gets stuck in negative thinking or in making a mountain out of a molehill then it can be helpful to add your own perspective to ground him or her and to help shift perspective on the situation.
To make him or her see that if you zoom out then things aren’t that bad really. And together the two of you might be able to find a solution or a first step that he or she can put into action.
2. Play positive music.
Uplifting music is of course a great way to boost your own mood and open up new perspectives again.
You can do the same for people around you. Put on a really positive song when you are hanging out. Or send them an uplifting playlist for Spotify or a similar program.
3. Take 30-60 seconds to give a genuine compliment.
Think about one thing that makes the other person tick. A small or bigger passion. Or something good that people too often take for granted about him or her.
And then give a compliment about that. It often means more than you might guess.
4. Smile.
A smile puts you and the people around you into a better and more relaxed headspace.
It works even when you don’t feel that much like smiling. If you like, do a brief experiment. Force a smile for 30 seconds or a minute if you are feeling a bit negative and see what happens to your mood.
5. Help someone to wind down.
Being busy with work or school can over time add a lot of tension and stress. And that can certainly get in the way of optimistic and constructive thinking.
So help someone in your life to wind down. Suggest going for a picnic. Just laugh and perhaps go for swim in the nearby lake or ocean. Just lie together in silence on the blanket and watch the clouds go by for a while.
A break like this can do wonders for the mood and perspective for the both of you.
6. Hug.
A hug is, perhaps often even more than a smile, something that can make someone feel a little better and a bit safer again. Use it when appropriate of course.
But don’t underestimate the effect of it and how that little nudge can turn someone’s thoughts around towards something brighter and more positive again.
7. Pay it forward.
If someone in your life adds a bit of optimism to your life then don’t just return it somewhere down the line. Pay it forward to someone else too.
And together build a growing upward spiral of optimism, encouragement and kindness.

See You At The Top,
Joseph Montes

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Letting Go Of A Relationship

I am a relationship person.
My relationships with my family and friends are the most meaningful, important parts of my life.
In fact, I’d say having high quality, intimate, authentic, healthy, and emotionally mature relationships is my top life value. I proactively work at my relationships — on communicating openly, on listening actively, and on devoting quality time with the people I care about.
When conflicts happen in a relationship, I’m often the first person to reach out and attempt to heal the relationship problem. I’m quick to forgive, and I hope I’m quick to ask for forgiveness when I’ve messed up.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, acted immaturely, had knee-jerk, ego-driven reactions, and gotten angry enough to slam doors and stomp my feet. You wouldn’t have to dig around far to find people who would testify to my relationship mishaps. But in general, I have a pretty solid emotional intelligence score when it comes to nurturing happy, healthy connections, and I take pride in my relating skills.
A description I discovered of my personality type (INFJ) articulates precisely how I feel about relationships:
“In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don’t always find them.”
That’s why for me, letting go of a relationship is particularly difficult. In fact, up until a few years ago, I couldn’t imagine myself making the decision to release a relationship altogether. My mantra has always been, “We can work it out.” And sometimes for me, “working it out” meant acquiescing, stuffing my true feelings, or tolerating things that deep inside I did’t want to tolerate.
Then one day I could no longer do that. Well, it wasn’t just one day — it happened over a few years. I got to the point in my self-awareness, or reached some internal shift, where I knew I had to let go of some relationships. The pain of dissonance, differences, and responding inauthentically outweighed my desire to keep “working it out.”
Letting go of a relationship is painful — even if it is draining you, holding you back, blinding you to your true self, or worse yet, toxic or abusive.We invest a lot in our friendships, our marriages, our business partners, and our family members. And most often it is one of these close relationships, a person or people with whom we’ve been intimately, deeply involved for many years, that cause us the most pain and turmoil.
At some point in one of your relationships, you will reach the point where the pain and difficulty outweigh the positives — where the consequences of letting go seem less daunting than the reality of staying put.

So how do you know the right time for letting go of a relationship?

The decision threshold is different for every individual. And certainly the type of relationship can set the threshold. It is usually harder to let go of a marriage that involves children than it is, say, a business partnership or friendship. However, there are some universal themes of discord in any relationship that lead to the realization it’s time to say goodbye.
Here are some of these themes:
Verbal, emotional, or physical abuse
Whether it’s a spouse, a parent, or a friend, if someone is abusing you in some way — through physical actions, psychological games, or consistently cruel words — it’s time to let them go. In many cases of abuse, the abuser has whittled away at the self-esteem and confidence of the abused, making it much more difficult for the abused person to leave. Especially in a marital context, these situations are very complex and usually require the intervention and support of a trained counselor to help extricate the abused person. But unless they leave the relationship, the abused person will continue to be fearful, full of self-doubt, and constantly anxious and stressed. And as long as you remain in an abusive relationship, the abuser will continue his or her bad behavior.
Consistent dishonestly, disloyalty, or deceit
Most close relationships can survive the occasional incident of lying or dishonest behavior. Even some marriages can survive a one-time affair with counseling and healing. But consistent, repetitive instances of dishonesty or disloyalty suggest the person involved has an issue of character and integrity that cannot be overcome. If you’ve addressed this issue many times over the years, and the behavior continues, you will not be true to yourself and your own integrity to remain connected to this person. No matter how many positive qualities they may have, consistent deceit will chip away at your respect for them and for yourself.
Divergent core values
If you and your loved one have wildly differing core values on your most important life principles, you simply will not have a peaceful and mutually supportive relationship. Some less intimate relationships (like a friendship) can handle this, especially if each person is respectful of the other’s values and life decisions around those values. But for those relationships where the two people impact each other on a daily basis, finding a middle ground for making decisions, choosing a lifestyle, raising children, managing money, making business decisions, etc., can be impossible. It requires one or both people to compromise in areas where they simply can’t or shouldn’t compromise.
General toxicity
There are some relationships where you and the other person simply clash. You are like oil and water. There’s something about the other person that brings out the worst in you and vice versa. Often this happens with extended family members, siblings, or friendships that have never been quite right, but you’ve hung on because you feel bad about letting go. There’s a general air of toxicity about the relationship that hangs around despite your best efforts to “make it work.” For your own peace of mind, it’s best to step back from a toxic relationship and admit it simply wasn’t meant to be.
Consistent, harmful irresponsibility
If you’re in a business relationship, marriage, or partnership with someone who’s consistently irresponsible, it will eventually undermine your love and respect for this person. If their irresponsible actions relate to finances, life obligations, or raising children together, you will be directly impacted in detrimental ways. No matter how much you care for this person, eventually you can no longer tolerate their unwillingness or inability to step up to the plate and maturely handle their responsibilities. You simply can’t allow one person to undermine the other fundamental parts of your life.
Refusal to communicate, address problems, or invest
There are some people in relationships unwilling to communicate, address difficulties, or actively work on the relationship. They allow it to languish or worse, actively resist any attempt you might make to work on improving the relationship. They find it too painful or complicated to communicate openly, or they simply haven’t learned the skills of healthy communication. Or perhaps they aren’t invested enough in the connection to make an effort. Regardless of the reason, when there’s only one person making an effort, it’s not really a relationship.
If you see yourself and one of your relationships in any of these themes, it might be time to consider letting it go. Letting go is painful and sometimes very complicated, but in the end, you must ask yourself if the positives outweigh the negatives; if the connection is lifting you up or dragging you down; if you feel better with or without this person. Ultimately, the most important relationship you must save is the one you have with yourself.
How have you known it was time to let go of a relationship? What realizations or self-awareness did you embrace in order to make the difficult decision? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Joseph Montes

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Saturday, March 18, 2017

When The People We Love Disappoint Us

Whether it is a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, husband, wife, or father figure, our fantastical and idealistic notions elevate them from mere mortal to something entirely different. We let them take on the role of superhuman and superheroes. They become figures in our lives who are incapable of mistakes and bad choices.
There is that moment in our life where the expectations, ideals, and fantasies that we have created for them, collide together and come crashing down on top of us. The person we love, respect, and honor with every fiber of our being, betrays us with their imperfections.
Whether it is a father figure who doesn’t follow through with their promise, an wife who has an affair, an uncle who cracks open our piggy bank, or a friend who goes back on his word, it is a moment that redefines the way we view them and the way we view the world. We feel the devastation of their decisions. We take it personally and we hold it against them. We can let that one defining moment change the way we interact with others, cloud our judgment, or affect who we trust.
Out of all of the movies I have seen over the years, Crash is still the one movie that has had the most impact on my life. In most movies, we have good and bad characters. They remain that way from beginning to end. In Crash, the question of who is good and who is bad is blurred throughout the movie. Characters teeter on that line, fall over, and then jump over to the other side. It is a movie that shows that bad people do good things and good people do bad things. So much so, that there is no clear line that delineates who falls in what category We are all a combination of our choices, good and bad.
Life is full of disappointments. It is also full of people who make bad decisions. But it is also full of beautiful words, phrases, moments, and memories. School teachers, doctors, lawyers, construction workers, students, and even parents and family members…..all of us have made decisions that we regret. We are all imperfect. Everything and everyone has beautiful and dark moments. A blue, cloudless sky can become a hurricane. A spring breeze can become a tornado. An autumn tree with red, yellow, orange and green colors, can eventually be stripped of everything but it’s bark. Fathers can disappoint you, uncles can steal, a wife can cheat and a cousin can lie. But we shouldn’t completely write them off because of it.
The people we love can’t be perfect all of the time. We have to learn how to eat the fish and leave the bones. In other words, we don’t throw out the entire meal because we have come across a “bone”. Instead, we take the lessons and knowledge that we need from the people we care about, and leave everything else on the plate. The people we love will sometimes disappoint us, as we will disappoint them. Everyone is a character in Crash and the sooner we embrace that, the easier disappointment becomes for us to understand and handle.

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Thursday, March 16, 2017

Mind-blowing Tips for Increasing Your Overall Positivity!

Positive thinking has been very often understood and used in a wrong connotation. People abuse the power of this great practice and suggest that it will attract you money, wealth and abundance. “Be positive and you’ll have anything you want!”
No you will not! That’s nonsense, and that’s NOT the purpose of exercising your mind to think this way.
This is exactly one of the main criticisms for the movie “The Secret”. Just by feeling good you can’t have anything you want – that is a LIE – Period!
The benefits of thinking and feeling positive emotions however, are actually very beneficial and they will trigger other positive phenomena in your life:
You’ll put both your spirit and body in a phenomenal vibration. Happiness and joy will radiate from you everywhere you go. Life will seem much better. Your attitude will improve immensely and in turn it will improve the world’s attitude towards you.
The reward is a blissful life full with enthusiasm and inspiration! Also, it will certainly help you in your financial endeavors…however… just the positive thinking alone won’t earn you any money…
These are some of the great practices that will put you on the right track in life:
1. Start Singing Even If You’re Bad Singer
Whenever life hits you hard or you experience a disappointment, start singing. As simple as that… Pick a song that really makes you feel great and start playing it in your head until all worries and stress go away.
The song can be one which makes you feel happy. It can be one which provokes laughter and joy in your heart. Is there any song that you can think of which simply puts a smile on your face, every single time you hear it? Probably a song you used to love when you were young child?
Good music has always been, and will always be a great tool for changing the mood. It will never fail to make you more positive so consider singing whenever you can.
2. Turn “Belly Breathing” Into a Habit
Did you know that our consciousness is highly connected to our way of breathing? Namely, yogis and monks have discovered a long time ago, that our thoughts are directly connected to the way we breathe.
When we start breathing slowly and deep in our belly, by exploiting 100% of our lungs capacity, our thoughts seem to slow down and we become more relaxed. Therefore, this is used in almost every meditative technique. Life simply slows down, all stress leaves both the mind and body and the individual who breathes this way gains clarity and mindfulness.
This practice will not only calm you down, it will affect your health, your overall blood circulation, it will boost the activity of your brain and it will never fail to improve your mood.
Breathing is the essence of life, so start doing it properly.
Simply start exercising this until it becomes a constant habit. Breathe deep in your belly and fill it like a balloon. Instead of inhaling shallow breaths in the chest only, expand your belly as much as you can.
The longer you practice this technique, the deeper and more effective your breaths will become. Your consciousness will clear and clarity and inner peace will take place.
This will never fail to boost your overall positivity!
3. Smile and Laugh More Often
Assuming that smiling and laughter are the opposite of crying and feeling bad or negative, just by forcing this into your life, you can’t avoid not feeling good.
Our body is the instrument of our mind, but it is also true that our thoughts and attitude are very much related to our body because of the way we operate. We tend to think and feel by what we see, hear, taste, smell and touch.
So if you smile, you can instantly feel it and your mind will respond to this. You will start feeling good and positive. It will not only lift up your mood, it will affect everyone else that comes in contact with you.
You can decide to smile just for the sake of it, or you can think of an situation, an event, a person or literally anything that puts a big smile on your face. Either one of them will work very well.
You can just go over to your mirror, look at yourself and force yourself to laugh. This works extremely well. Very soon, it will become contagious and you won’t be able to stop it.
Let’s try this right now…
Think of a little toddler trying to walk. He is learning to walk outside in the yard of his parent’s house, and there’s a little puppy waiting for him just a few meters away from him.
As he is walking, he is pointing to the puppy with his tiny little fingers and he suddenly falls like a ball on the grass. He tries to stand up but there’s not a force on earth that will help him in doing just that, he simply keeps falling down again and again.
Everybody laughs and enjoys the picture. Finally our little toddler manages somehow to stand on his tiny feet and starts walking like a penguin towards the puppy. The moment he comes to him, he tries to kiss him with his little lips and again, as he bends down, he loses control and falls on the ground next to the puppy. The puppy even gets scared and jumps from fear.
Now I just totally made all that up… I couldn’t think of anything else that could make me smile at the moment. If you’re like most people, you’d probably smile when having the picture of the little toddler learning how to walk.
After thinking about this I feel very good. Very positive as well…You can do the same!
Have in mind that laughter and smiling can also cure diseases and depression! That’s already scientifically proven…
Smile more often and your positivity will keep increasing more and more every time you do it.
4. Make Your Surroundings Highly Positive
What are your friends and the people you associate with like? Is their nature positive? Are they being fun and humorous or not really?
Good company always helps! If you happen to be around negative and depressive people, you can afford to change your lifestyle.
Assuming the fact that we feel what’s going on around us and that as mentioned earlier, we go by what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch – it is very important that your surrounding is highly positive, because you will receive this energy.
It will affect you every single time!
5. Engage in Meditation and Yoga
The title says it all. These two activities will never fail to boost your positivity. They will help you to gain control over your thoughts and your awareness will be heightened.
You will become aware of the present moment and what’s going on in your mind. Positive thoughts will become natural as you practice these skills.
6. Make Walking Outdoors a Habit
Although very simple, the effect of this single activity can be powerful. I am working from home and most of the time I am in front of my computer.
Sometimes this can get overwhelming and the first thing I do is going outdoors.
I walk for 40 min. in the nearest park and just observe the people, birds, trees and so on. When I come back I am a completely new person!
I have two times more energy and I am working 3 times more productive.
Even studies show that this activity can boost your mood to a great extent. Just do it and see the results!
7. Be Helpful To Others
You know, it’s not all about you. I realized this not very long time ago. While I’ve never been too much egoistic in nature, I always cared for my feelings and my interests.
When I tried for a moment to completely shift my attention to other people’s needs and REALLY try to help them (from the bottom of my heart), what came back to me was quite shocking.
Help other people and truly care. Don’t do it just for the sake of it, but really show some empathy and compassion. Try putting yourself in their skin and view the world through their perception. Then, do your best to help them.
You have no idea what this can do for you…
Some ideas to help you get started can include:
  • Visiting the orphanage and do something special for the kids. Make them happy and prepare some intriguing surprise.
  • The next time you go with the subway or when you’re on a bus, be kind and give your seat to a person that needs it more than you do.
  • Go in the local supermarket buy some bread, some salami and cheese, get some fruits and bottles of fresh water and perhaps some extra ingredients you’ll need. Prepare some tasty sandwiches and then go to any shelter with homeless people and give it to them wholeheartedly.
8. Express Gratitude 3 Times a Day
Create your gratitude journal or simply write on a sheet of paper 10 things that you’re grateful for. Then read this list 3 times in the day – in the morning, at noon and at night.
The more things you can include in the list – the better. These things should make you feel good and positive about yourself and life in general.
Gratefulness is the secret to a peaceful, happy and positive lifestyle!
9. Understand that You’re Responsible for Everything That Happens To You
You cannot blame others for the results you get in your life. All our results come as a direct result of our actions and behavior in life. Our actions and behavior on the other hand – is the direct result of our thoughts and feelings.
Only you have the power to control your attitude comprised of your thoughts and feelings. You choose what you give your attention to, so instead of whining and complaining, stop blaming the circumstances, the government, the economy and God knows what else not.
It is your fault that you’ve let these things, people and events influence you, so you can afford to stop it. Take full responsibility, and your life will become much more positive!
10. Make a Contribution and Start Volunteering
Now here I live up to you to be creative. Think of the ways you can improve your community. Perhaps help in cleaning the streets in your neighborhood? What about helping individuals in the local library?
This one will be bizarre but certainly interesting – how about to visit prisoners and just help in making contact? Perhaps you’ll befriend them and make their day better?
Remember – the more you give in life, the more it comes back. Life will always reward you tenfold for every good thing you do. Decide how you can give back to the community, and then just do it!
Positivity will become your natural mindset that seems to make you company at all times.
11. Give Compliments On a Regular Basis
If criticizing makes people feel bad – then the opposite which is giving compliments has to make them feel good. Not only will it make the person you compliment feel amazing, it will come back to you as well!
When was the last time you gave a sincere compliment to someone which comes straight from the heart?
If you can’t remember it, maybe it is about time to consider doing this the next time you see someone on the street.
Remember, if you’re looking for the good sides in others, this is a reflection of the good sides in you. And please don’t do this just for the sake of it… Be really genuine and honest when you compliment people!
12. Exercise and Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health
Yes, this is important. Pick any activity that you love and exercise regularly.
You can run, hike, go in the gym, take classes in martial arts and heck, your imagination is the only limit!
Not only will you be more fresh and energetic, your mood will change accordingly as well! There’s no way how this activity cannot make you feel positive.
Just do it!
To Conclude
Most of the time, we are being surrounded with a ton of negativity in our lives. We’re constantly being bombarded with pressure and stressful situations, but it is our choice how we are going to respond to them.
We can choose to take responsibility and decide to be in full control over our attitude…or…we can live day by day, and let the waves of life take us wherever they want to go.
I certainly won’t recommend the second option!
Choose to live your life the way YOU want to live it! Stop being a victim of outside circumstances and decide to gain a positive outlook on life.
And remember – it is the small things that make all the difference! So take a deep breath right now, and say how grateful you are for everything in your life!

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See You At The Top,
Joseph Montes