You’ve all seen it before. A beautiful girl is with a guy who looks like he eats billy goats underneath a bridge. And you think to yourself, “How in theee hell did he get her?”
Confidence is the answer. Take a billy goat eating man and add some confidence, and voila….he becomes the most attractive man on the planet.
Confidence says to the world, “I love me and so should you. I’m comfortable with the way that I am and the world should love me exactly how I view myself.”
On the other side of the confidence spectrum lies insecurity, indecisiveness, and low self-worth. Confident people make decisions and they are proud of their decisions. People who are not confident about themselves struggle with making little and big decisions. They have trouble deciding on everything from what they feel like eating to whether they should get married to a person they have been dating for years.
So why is lack of confidence so unattractive? It’s like someone who cooks an immaculate dinner for you. You say, “That was THE best dinner I have ever eaten in my life.” Their response: “The potatoes were dry. I really over seasoned the meat. I dried out the spinach and I really should have taken the pound cake out 30 seconds earlier.”
Now imagine that EVERY single night that you eat dinner. It gets old. Fast. No one wants to be with someone they feel they have to motivate and constantly build up. The last thing a confident person wants is someone they have to constantly reassure.
Confidence is precisely why more people try to speak to you when you are dating someone else. It is because your confidence and happiness are all over your face and actions. Confidence is similar to that feeling you have two seconds after walking out of the hair salon….like you are unstoppable. Your actions, emotions, and feelings manifest that same feeling inside out.
It is completely opposite from the feeling you get when you go out of the house dressed in black, in sweatpants, no lip gloss, no earrings, with your hair in a ponytail, looking like you literally rolled out of bed and walked outside. Instead of happiness and confidence, you signal to the world that you don’t care. So why should anybody else?
“But people should like me dressed anyway that I want to dress.” Why do you think that real estate agents pay thousands of dollars to stage a house with rented furniture before they sell it? It is because people want to envision themselves in the house. Likewise, potential suitors want to envision themselves with you, and if you give them your “just rolled out of bed look” every single day, they won’t be able to see the vision.
Bottom line: confidence is arguably one of the most attractive aspects in another person. If you don’t have it, spend a little time every day trying to love yourself a little bit more. Invest in yourself and boost your confidence by spending time and money on YOU. Go get a massage, take a yoga class, take up that hobby you were always afraid to try out, book a vacation. The more time you spend on yourself, the more your confidence will grow.