The role of karma in relationships is real and we can see it play out in our daily lives and the people around us.
By now we’ve all heard of karma, and we’ve gotten the impression that it’s some malicious force that punishes us for our bad deeds. Not so! Karma is an old Sanskrit word that simply means “deed” but the ethical concept of karma dates back thousands of years in India.
Let’s clarify karma a bit so we understand its real influence over our lives:
What is karma, anyway?
Karma is actually the accumulation of our every thought, intention, and action from this and former lifetimes. It’s like a piece of luggage we carry with us on our trip from life to life only unlike luggage at the airport, it never gets lost! And bad karma doesn’t punish us; it makes us punish ourselves.
Negative karma sets us up for negative cycles that are seemingly never-ending. But just as there’s bad karma, there also exists good karma that protects us from harm and allows us to evolve towards personal joy.
Our ultimate goal is to settle old karma and generate as much positive karma as possible. So how does this energy play out in our romances?
Karma will wreak havoc in our love life if left unresolved (no pressure). Being blind to our individual karma will cause us to blame other people for the wrong things that happen to us.
We might be settling for the same type of partner, or making the same mistakes in relationship after relationship, but our karma won’t allow us to see that. We’ll think it’s bad luck or that all people are liars and cheats.
If we haven’t lifted the burdens of our past, they will block our future. Life is a circle. We travel ‘round and ‘round, meeting the same situations, circumstances, and people because they are part of our unique karma. But if we left the road a piece of baggage on the road some miles back, we’ll meet it again when we come around the circle.
This is why it’s essential that we clear our roadblocks for a smooth trip.
Karma, in action.
Breaking karmic patterns can be tricky because we may not have identified the karma that’s causing us to endure the same obstacles. The only way to break the barriers is to take different actions.
Everything we do comes back to us and even the most trivial choice we make now can have a massive impact later. Many times we ignore our karma and act in bad faith or out of ego and selfishness.
Take the case of Mary, who fell in love with a man who was married and had four children. These facts didn’t deter Mary, however, who was tenacious to have John if it was the last thing she did! Eventually, Mary charmed John to the point that he actually divorced his wife and left his four children. Mary couldn’t be happier, and quickly became pregnant with her own child with John. But John’s former wife outwitted them both. She sent all four of her children with John to live with him and Mary. These children had been thoroughly instigated against Mary and they figuratively ate her alive. She became desperate but John wasn’t seeing the problem, partly because these were his children whom he loved dearly. The kids were also influencing John against Mary, fabricating stories about bad things she had never done. After a few years, the situation became so strained that Mary actually gave up on the man she had fought so hard to be with. She saw the grim reality of what she had done: she had taken a man away from his family, and the dark karma was now turning against her.
Your story may not be as dramatic, of course, but if you’re not completely happy in a relationship then a karmic component could be the cause.
Use these three principles to create positive karma if you feel something is wrong in your relationship:
Keep sacred your karma
The golden rule to clean karma is to act with integrity not for other people, but for your own sake. Smile at everyone, even if they don’t smile at you. Keep sacred your karma by remaining aware of your thoughts, intentions, and actions.
It doesn’t matter who has mistreated a million times. You must continue to act according to your karmic reputation and not in response to the other person’s actions.
Continue to be compassionate yet indifferent. This doesn’t mean that you should keep sacrificing for a person who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, or that you have to yield to their every whim. But you must still show a degree of understanding under any circumstance.
Our first reaction when we’ve been wronged is to seek revenge, and this is normal. But in the long run this causes us much more harm than the temporary good it brings. Whether you’ve been betrayed or not, don’t resort to betraying another person.
Remember the phrase, do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Never forget it! If you’re unhappy in your relationship, simply move on but never purposely fool or mislead others just to satisfy your ego. Taking revenge will only backfire on you as it will trap you and perpetuate bad karma so that it continues on indefinitely in your life.
See the bigger reason
When we make a mistake, we tend to blame and criticize ourselves endlessly. Mistakes help us to resolve karma if we make the right choices. We all have some sort of outstanding karma. Karma certainly builds up in time and it’s nearly impossible to keep a completely clean record.
Errors in life are sometimes necessary because they can help end our karma, our soulful ties with people, places, or things. For example, many of our readers have made mistakes that have ended the relationship with their partner. At first they couldn’t forgive themselves but in time they’re actually grateful that the relationship came to an end because they weren’t completely happy.
There’s no escaping our karma, and why should we want to? If we keep our karma unstained and honor our karmic duties, we will get exactly what we deserve: inner peace, endless joy, and a truly fulfilling relationship.