Thursday, March 2, 2017

Get More Romantic Happiness by Putting in LESS Effort


Are you happier today than you were five years ago? Ten years ago? Do you think you’ll be even happier in another five or twenty-five years?
According to a recent study, you probably will be.
Researchers took a closer look at more than 1,500 people ranging in age from 21 to 100. They found that stuff like depression and anxiety were highest among younger people.
Older participants seemed to be happier in life.
There are a lot of reasons why that might be the case. One possible explanation is simply this: as people age, they learn to stop sweating the small stuff.
Think about that in the context of your dating relationship. When are you happiest with your man? When do you enjoy dating the most?
It’s probably when you’re not caught up in all the things you could be worried about. Things like what he thinks of you, where he thinks the relationship is going, or even how he feels about the outfit you’re wearing.
When you’re focused on everything that could go wrong, both big and small, it kills the joy of being alive.
Ready for the bad news?
The more serious your relationship gets, the harder it becomes NOT to worry. The stakes get higher. It’ll hurt more if it all falls apart.
Which means it’s entirely possible to have the best part of a dating relationship completely ruined by worry.
Would you rather avoid that pitfall? Here’s how you can.
Caring about the ultimate success of your relationship is normal. But if you really want to help your relationship AND enjoy it more at the same time, learn to care less.
I don’t mean care less about him. I mean care less about all the questions you can’t answer.
Is he the ONE? Will this relationship be your fairy tale? Is this the love you’ve been waiting for?
There’s no way of knowing. Only time will tell.
So, while you wait to find out the answer to those admittedly important questions, focus on what’s good about the relationship RIGHT NOW.
Enjoy the little stuff. Every fun date. Every inside joke. Those moments when he makes you feel special. Those times when you get to see his face light up.
In other words, be playful.
Savor all the things that made you want to date him in the first place without demanding definitive answers about the future. As the relationship matures, you’ll get those answers. But especially when the relationship is young, enjoy it.
And trust yourself.
You’ll know when it’s time for a change.  In the meantime, don’t try to figure it all out.
Even if this relationship doesn’t work out, this isn’t your last shot at love. Everything’s not riding on this one day, week, or even this one year!
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your relationship is to care less about its success. That’s doubly true early on.
Don’t get pulled down by worry. Instead, turn your attention to the things about your guy that you love. That way you get to enjoy each phase of the relationship more, and you’ll be happier along the way.



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See You At The Top,
Joseph Montes



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